To much of my anguish, this has been my life since October 22nd. I was in a car accident on my way to work and landed myself in the hospital for a few days. No one ever likes being laid up, but I am experiencing sincere anxiety about it.
I am known to be a social butterfly. As noted in my previous post about my inner demons, I have noticed that I am in a panicked state. I need to be out, visiting friends, seeing movie, going to the book store, going to dinner, or to a club. No matter what, I am constantly moving and I enjoy it.
I realized that I am experiencing anxiety much like those who experience it being in social situations. I also realized why I am always moving.
I am afraid that if I don’t keep fueling myself with life and social experiences, I will quickly tumble back into that dark world that is depression. Which then begs to question if I am curing myself, or just getting my “fix.” I want it to be the former and not the latter, but what matters is what’s really happening. I don’t slip so easily. I can go a while with being hunkered down, but this… this is really eating at me.
It’s strange, though. You don’t really see a lot of cases like this, as I am not one to be over the top all the time. Either way, I am not handling it well.