Stir Crazy


To much of my anguish, this has been my life since October 22nd. I was in a car accident on my way to work and landed myself in the hospital for a few days. No one ever likes being laid up, but I am experiencing sincere anxiety about it.

I am known to be a social butterfly. As noted in my previous post about my inner demons, I have noticed that I am in a panicked state. I need to be out, visiting friends, seeing movie, going to the book store, going to dinner, or to a club. No matter what, I am constantly moving and I enjoy it.

I realized that I am experiencing anxiety much like those who experience it being in social situations. I also realized why I am always moving.

I am afraid that if I don’t keep fueling myself with life and social experiences, I will quickly tumble back into that dark world that is depression. Which then begs to question if I am curing myself, or just getting my “fix.” I want it to be the former and not the latter, but what matters is what’s really happening. I don’t slip so easily. I can go a while with being hunkered down, but this… this is really eating at me.

It’s strange, though. You don’t really see a lot of cases like this, as I am not one to be over the top all the time. Either way, I am not handling it well.

Published by

Erika Damn Castle!

I've always been told that I'm an adventurous girl and I cannot deny any of it. I would love to see the world and experience all of the stories it has to tell me. I am a child of the arts, developing my senses in music, painting, sketching, crafting, et cetera. But writing... it was a talent I believe I was born with. I'm not saying I'm an amazing (grammatically correct) author, just that I'm a natural storyteller. I can remember from the time that I learned how to read and write, I was eager to create my own world. I would scribble out tons of poems and short stories, then forcibly share them with my family (or even with my classmates). One of those stories resulted in the creation of this blog. Black Tears. As a child with an already wild imagination, I would always have these equally crazy dreams. One of those dreams was so vivid, that I awoke in the middle of the night and jotted down everything I could remember. From that point, the dream evolved into a poem, then a short story, and then to a complete story. It is the fruit of my 20 year procrastinating labor, and has been published into a book (the first of its series). Tune in to stay updated on the growth of myself as an author and the series. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have loved creating it! XX , Erika

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