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And quickly I go, all on my own!

 

Hello, my lovelies. You’re looking fantastic! I know, I know. Where the hell have I been? Give me a moment (or blog) to explain and forgive my rambling.

As I’ve said in a previous note, my life took a strong turn South (quite literally.) I had moved back below the bible belt, seeking comfort in the humid sun and familiarity of extreme hyperbole’s. I’ll admit, at first, it was glorious not to be in the cold and be surrounded by people who weren’t shy. I took a job at a site with my employer, thinking that I’d get more experience, but also that it would help me and my boyfriend at the time. We’d been on the rocks for a good bit a time and I wanted so badly to reconcile. To find our place again because I adored him. I thought, what better way to get us closer to each other, than taking away all the negative aspects that had accumulated while living in Michigan? Did I tell him this? No. Should I have? Maybe. But the worst happened and we ended up spending more time apart. We felt lonely with no friends around and both of us on opposite schedules. It was the inevitable icing on the shit cake that had become of our long relationship. We both went our separate ways, leaving me in South Carolina and now he’s back in Michigan.

It still hurts for many reasons. Our entire relationship was a struggle, mostly because he wasn’t ready for it to be solid. He was reluctant to date me in the beginning, then reluctant to move to Michigan, and then reluctant to marry. That eventually changed for him, but it also changed for me. Funny how that happens, huh?

I took a brave step and ran for Atlanta. I have struggled the most here, but I have loved every second of it. Not once have I thought about giving up and going home. Why would I? It’s been scary to be taking this adventure alone, but I have picked up some fantastic friends along the way. I am thriving, my loves! I have grown so much in the few months that I have been here. I have come to love myself more, which I didn’t think was possible. I have hardened my spine and stood tall in the absence of others. I have embraced every aspect of my life and am not afraid to live it. I have rebounded but entirely on my own. I feel like the animated wind from Pocahontas. LOL!

Has love visited me again? Yes. An enigma stepped in for a brief moment and reminded me that love is its own entity. Beautiful, difficult, soft, warm, insane, and passionate. I’m not with them now, but in our short affair, they have left their mark. I’m perfectly happy with that. Thank you, Commander Sheppard (you knew I would make the video game reference you despise – try not being in the military next time). 🙂

For now, I’ll keep drifting with the wind, like I always do. I’m sure one of these days, with as much light that I have, someone(s) will want to burn bright with me.

It’s good to be back.

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